To step into a new way of being and to develop a new relationship with themselves and the world around them. Being an alpha male has many facets, but you can really distill it down to a few major key points. “The problem is, two Alphas will tend to compete for power and dominance. Instead, it’s about the total person. There are just but a few suggestions. that exhibits one of the 7 previously mentioned characteristics. Looking back to the wild, it’s hard not to notices that most alpha wolves are generally curious. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It was a pleasure talking to you and, if you change your mind, I’d love to get to know you a little better and share a drink with you on this beautiful evening.”. Betas, on the other hand, need validation. Alphas Strive for Growth and Mastery, Betas Accept Mediocrity and the Status Quo, “We are what we repeatedly do. They tend to have a magnetic allure that makes it easy for them to meet and attract high-quality women. To be an alpha male is to be courageous. In the context of alpha males, I’ll briefly outline several steps you can take to enhance your own sense of courage. In some species of birds, males pair up in twos when courting, the beta male aiding the alpha male. Men who marry the masculine and feminine energies together in a balanced and effective way. As you read what follows, bear in mind these traits are based on animal studies and not the stuff of Hollywood. Alpha men who involve themselves with strength training discover 7 unique benefits that are life enhancing. In many ways, the term alpha male has a mystique attached to it. What are you? But they die knowing that they gave this life their all. Being an alpha man is more of a mindset than anything else. In other words, you will want to reflect upon your own leadership experiences in the past and carefully assess your strengths and weakness. Answer these simple questions about yourself, and this quiz can help you figure out if you're an alpha male! The alpha male can entertain. The alpha male is courageous. 5. There is nothing wrong with these goals, it just matters that you want these goals. They took bold risks in the face of uncertainty, marched to the beat of their own drummer, and lived a life that was true to who they wanted to be. He accepts what has happened, learns from his mistakes, and sets out to find a solution. To understand how to be an alpha male, we must start by understanding what it means to be a beta male. Do you have a vision that is bigger than yourself and that you are actively working to bring into reality? Betas leverage a faux “kindness” to earn the approval of others and feel validated. And this is why you must be an alpha male. With that shared, let’s move into alpha male characteristics, using the previously mentioned ethology as our guide. Betas, on the other hand, are passive. He would do anything…except to own what had happened to him and resolve to make a change. He will have the charisma to … An Alpha male will always have a high threshold for uncomfortable situations. Think of previous U.S. presidents, such as Ronald Reagan or John F. Kennedy. Here, you will discover how the construct of courage manifests itself in the form of personal decision making; witnessed through the narrative lens of famous world leaders. Finally, on this point I’ll share this: all of us, to a lesser or greater degree, hold these traits. To be an alpha male, you don’t need to have 20” biceps or rock a six-pack year-round. I point this out because it would be massively incorrect to assume that males are the only ones who can be “alphas”. You are exuding alpha behaviors. Much has […], Copyright 2021 Guy Counseling. Assertive, but at times gentle. That’s because leadership is both a science and an art. They seek excellence because it is a part of who they are. Alpha males usually only have one type of personality, and that is with a strong mentality, masculine male behavior and are moving forward with high motivational feelings all the time!. All in all, strictly speaking, “Alpha” INFJ men do not truly exist (if you only account for the personality traits themselves). Although betas may achieve excellence in one field, when you look at their life as a whole, their acceptance of mediocrity is obvious. For example, alpha wolves are typically bigger and stronger than others males in the pack. By intentionally cultivating these 9 alpha traits, you will have taken your first step to becoming the alpha male of your life and taking complete ownership of your destiny. This is particularly true for entrepreneurs who own and operate their own business. As you will discover from the video above, there is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman and a guy doesn’t have to treat women badly or be a bad boy alpha male to attract women. Any reasonably objective person who looks at this topic through the lens of biodiversity will conclude that mammalian alphas have been with us at least since the Cenozoic era, if not well before. Women who have already discovered this alpha personality about themselves have these 15 special traits that make them rock stars in the world. But you must be physically and emotionally fit and build a strong and useful body. He has an inborn charm, a natural charisma. One of the best books you will ever read on this topic is: Profiles in Courage by John F. Kennedy. Not surprising that many males want to develop the alpha male characteristics in their personality. The traits and the kind of persona we have read so far expresses that an alpha man is a wise man that is meant to stand out of the crowd no matter what. This one is nice because it helps you to identify your personal leadership style. They don’t act like they know it all and they aren’t afraid to ask for help. For example, if you are naturally assertive and that charactersitic runs in your family, there’s a good chance that heredity is part of the dynamic. They stay on a path that doesn’t fit them, get that soul sucking office job, marry Betty from accounting, and have 3 kids…not because they actually want this for themselves. But wolves can’t “workout” or engage in strength training. Betas, on the other hand, accept mediocrity. Period. The idea is to choose people who have dominant traits that you can emulate. Rather, self-trust is about trusting your desires. When it’s all said and done, being an alpha male is not about making more money, having more sex, or enjoying more prestige. preferring art and dance over hunting and boxing). These include his introverted nature and reserved behavior. He is extremely successful both in his private life and his business life and because of that, he has many enemies. They investigate what’s going on in their environment and then use (or acquire) skills for the future. There’s no way I can teach you all of the ways to grow your leadership skills on this one page. “Deal with it.” If you are a beta male, your answer is, “Hide from it or use it as a scapegoat.”. His interests include technology, outdoor activities, science, and men's health. In other words, these men don’t put purposely place themselves in risky situations in order to demonstrate they are brave. She assumes that as an Alpha female she should be partnered with an Alpha male. In other words, confidence happens through experience. 10 Laws of Alpha Males: How to Become an Alpha Male and Attract Women, 25 Truths About The Libra Man Personality In Love And Sex, The link between animal research and “alphas”, Common traits and characteristics of alpha men, The differences between “Alpha Males” and “A-Types”, Alpha male movies that you can use as reference points, Common myths associated with guys who are alpha. Alpha males are often thought of as “knuckle draggers”…domineering, condescending, and boorish characters like Jordan Belfort, Hank Moody, or Don Draper. The Key Components Of An Alpha Male Personality . Being Alpha. And he wouldn’t take ownership of his situation until the last possible second. They lack self-esteem, confidence, and integrity and, because they lack a strong sense of self-worth, will bend over backwards to make others like them and feel “good enough.”. Keep in mind that part of having a commanding presence is theatrical. Beta males do not feel like they are “enough”. He will earn his money at the expense of his health, his happiness, and his family and allow his entire identity to become wrapped up in the number of 0’s in his bank account. For example, have you always been curious about what makes certain athletes successful? He speaks his mind, owns his desires without shame or guilt, sets clear boundaries and speaks up when they are crossed. If you want to increase your intellectual capacity, it’s important to have an open mind. It also provides insight into enhancing your communication skills while motivating your followers. Hughes, Ginnett and Curphy (2010) McGraw Hill, 10 Laws of Alpha Males: How to Become an Alpha Male and Attract Women. If, for example, an alpha male was married and noticed that his wife was spending an exorbitant amount of money on his credit card, he would respond by first setting a boundary with his wife. 8. To this point, the old axiom, “that trait runs in our family” strikes a chord of truth. It’s about leading yourself and those you care about to a bigger and better future. One day these battles will turn into life lessons to make himself stronger. He would explain their financial situation and would firmly but compassionately ask her to reign in her spending. Betas allow their demons to run and ruin their lives, hiding from them or using them as an excuse for why their life sucks so much. Alphas accept these battles and choose to face their demons head on, wrestling them into submission and asserting control over their lives and destiny’s. Instead, it’s more about the marriage of instrumental and expressive traits. They don’t care about things like connection, shared values, and intimacy and crave validation so badly that they will suffer through hours of banal conversations and a few minutes of lackluster sex with someone they don’t like just to get it. Keep in mind that Vox Day’s archetypes are a baseline for the alpha male type. It is just how he will be. Alphas “Change or Accept It” Betas Bitch About It. It’s called instinct and it’s directly related to survival. Get ready to be swept off your feet5. 6. It’s kind of a must read for any guy who wants to be an alpha male. Here, we’re talking about researchers who spent years obserting how various kinds of animals interact with one another in their natural environment. But the traits that make them so productive can also drive their coworkers crazy. Then click here to watch my new client orientation to learn more about becoming a stronger Grounded Man, breaking free from nice guy behaviors, and creating a powerful social circle of likeminded men and a high quality romantic relationship. A Brief Essay on Masculinity: What Makes a Man a “Real Man”? Unlike beta males, alpha males do not need validation from anyone, man or woman, to feel good about themselves. One of the things cats hate the most is change of any kind, and that includes changes in attitudes from day to day. But dominance isn’t a black or white issue. The alpha male has stories to tell. Even though they prioritize their own well being–because they know that they cannot serve others without first taking care of themselves–they genuinely care about the needs of the people in their life and they want the best for others. I believe that Alpha women can learn to envision themselves as the Alpha in a relationship with a … Betas tend to be die-hard “know it alls”. It’s time to redefine what it means to be an “alpha male.”. Or, at their very best, strive for domain-specific excellence to impress and earn validation from others. Sure, there are men who are more dominant than others. However, this does negate the mediocrity that runs rampant through the rest of their lives. Bold, self-confident, and demanding, alpha males get things done. 3. Any alpha male can’t be an alpha without being able to communicate himself. Develop a plan to transfer courage from one area to another, 5. This is the fastest way to do it. Trust your instincts in decision making, 7. I’ll level with you and say now that dominance is one of those traits that can be difficult to develop. One man, a beta male, approaches her and strikes up a conversation. What is the difference between an alpha male and a beta male in day-to-day interactions? That’s right – he also wrote about alpha female wolves. In American nomenclature, we typically link alpha males to wolves. 2. In order to do it, you’ll have to identify several individuals who you that admire project strength and self-assuredness. In real life it takes much more than that to be an alpha male. I’ve also included several book and movie recommendations for further study. A little bitch?” He would ignore the advice of experienced entrepreneurs and insist that things be done his way. A personality that typically exhibits high ambition and rigidity. Take action on what I’ve shared with you today, and I promise, your life will never be the same. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, alcoholism, or childhood trauma, we all have internal battles that we must fight. 5. If the humans are happy and active one minute, moody and distant the next, and perhaps arguing loudly the next, the cats will reflect these changes according to their own personalities. He consults his parents, teachers and friends (all of whom encourage him to finish his degree). At the end of the day, one of the most important alpha male characteristics is an obsession with excellence. Alphas are intimately familiar with (and accepting of) their weaknesses. Media and popular culture have portrayed the image of an alpha male as the guy who is hunky, gets hot dates, and has the body of a greek god. He will blame his depression for marital problems, his floundering career, and various addictions. See Disclaimer, Dr. John Moore is a licensed counselor and Editor-in-Chief of Guy Counseling. Alpha males, on the other hand, die with satisfaction. If a non-pack member so much as walks near an area controlled by the leaders, subordinate members of the pack sound off alarms. They don’t go out with the intent to “get laid” or “pull”. Attempting to get others to like him with “niceness”. Mentors? After years of studying masculinity and personal development, I’ve discovered that there are nine core traits that separate the alphas from the betas and, in this section, I’m going to break them down and illustrate them to help you understand exactly what it means to be an alpha male. !” He continues kicking off until the bouncers throw him outside where he continues his drunken tirade until he tires out and goes home. It’s one of the striking characters of an alpha male. I mention this because being an alpha male is multifactorial in nature. Attempting to fit in and refusing to do anything that may rock the boat. But what exactly does that term mean? I mention these because alpha traits, like the previously mentioned dominance, are not about some Neanderthal construct of masculinity promoted by those who wish to sell an image. How many alpha male characterstics do you posess? What follows is a detailed walkthrough of each trait with specific steps you can take to nurture what’s deep inside. Adopt these qualities into your own everyday life and learn how to become an alpha male. Period. They’ve adopted a “shadow life”. Where one male and one female fulfill this role, they are referred to as the alpha pair.. When people hear the term “Alpha Male” it, it usually conjures up mental imagery of a super good looking guy who holds the traits of being strong, muscular and charming – all at the same time. It can be a previous boss, someone you played sports with or a mentor. Perhaps the most effective way to learn more about courage is to study it. For most men who want to be alpha males, it’s the leadership trait that needs to be grown and not the management trait. They seek out and eradicate mediocrity wherever they can find it and they refuse to hold back or play small in any area of their life. They may know what they want, but lack the backbone to go after it. They believe in their potential and they strive to reach it every day. He doesn’t lack fear, rather, he accepts that it exists and faces it at every opportunity. Rather, beta males tend to be reactive to the world around them whereas alphas are proactive in creating the life they desire. Believe it or not, folks who research the topic of leadership actually disagree on the definition more than you might think. It’s about going all out and making your life mean something. Get access to badass online courses to transform your life, reach your highest potential and live an epic life. The “science” part comes from the inherent traits that a person may be born with. But before we can discuss how to become an alpha male, we must start by examining what it means to be a beta male…and why you must avoid this archetype at all costs. Typically, here’s what managers do: That’s not to say that managers can’t be good leaders. The best way to do this is to grab a pen and paper and start making a list. And so part of the key to better understanding dominance is to be aware of body language. The term ‘alpha male’ often conjures up images of a wolf pack. Sure, some may come easier than others but all require focus and attention to grow. Beta males always die filled with regret. No whiny boys, complainers or dabblers, for serious men only. Outwardly, they are almost indistinguishable from alphas…at first. Style matters2. Alphas Acknowledge their Weaknesses, Betas Pretend They Don’t Exist. Anyone with integrity, inner strength, and a good heart can be a natural alpha male. To be an alpha male, one generally exhibits the following traits and characteristics. I’ll guide you through each area and provide tips for personal development. Inside the private members area, my team, community of high performing men and I can answer your questions to help you get custom tailored answers for your specific situation. Think of a common “pick up artist”. But, as always, the question that you must ask yourself is “What am I going to do about it?”, If you are an alpha male, the answer is simple. They don’t do any of these things because they crave attention or validation or want to be liked by those around them. It’s about knowing your values, being in integrity with yourself, and dominating your unique path in life. We have trouble putting ourselves first3. For example, and to many men’s surprise, many beta males are incredibly successful in their careers and finances. One of the key delineators between alpha and beta males is that alphas are assertive and betas are passive. Alphas will often turn down casual sexual encounters because they aren’t interested in sex for the sake of sex. The man looks at her, smiles, and replies, “I understand. FYI: Famous ethologists who used these kinds of terms include movers and shakers like Charles Darwin, who is considered by many to be the father of evolutional theory, and Konrad Lorenz, a biologist credited with the psychological construct known as imprinting. For example, a high-school bully shows more alpha-like qualities, while the victim shows more beta features. Social animals in a hierarchical community are sometimes assigned ranks in ethology studies.. It is also helpful to recognize that building muscle needs to be framed as something to look forward to and not a chore. Life of quiet desperation. ” he speaks his mind, owns his desires without shame or,. 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